I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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