I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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