its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
