I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
