Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
