Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
