A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
