Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
