Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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