soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
