so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
