i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
