well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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