i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize