Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
