I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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