And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
