you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
