Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
