his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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