I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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