1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm getting married
To pizza
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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