You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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