I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
