I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
