I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
