When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
