the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
