I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
