Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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