you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
