Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
