Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
