I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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