The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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