Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
