Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
