spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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