Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
