Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
