i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I need water and some morals
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
