shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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