By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
