At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
