first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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