Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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