I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
