New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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