Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So many bounce houses so little time
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
God, I missed his penis.
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