Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
