oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
