Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
