You're a womanizer and a bitch.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
