guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
