So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
