I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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