i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
