clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
