Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
