I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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