i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
