Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
