apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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