Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
