im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Alive.
So much puke
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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