Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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