Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
