I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
