im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
