Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
the liver wants what the liver wants
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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